i learn a lot from bravo tv, as trashy and waste-of-time as it is. i saw my first breast pump on “bethenney ever after,” while i was pregnant. and many of the ladies on this channel have taught me that if i ever act like them as i get older, i need to ask my friends ahead of time, to bitchslap me or dunk me into a cold bath.
last night, i watched “the real housewives of new jersey.” in this episode, my beloved giudices attend their daughter’s gymnastics meet. she came in 7th. there were eight girls total. they not only catcalled and whistled for her, with so many extended family members attending, but also told her repeatedly how great she did. and she is one confident girl. i told k about this, how different it would’ve been if it were our Korean parents at that meet.
“ji-yah! why you not smile? you too scared and that’s why you fall. you know fat girl with short hair didn’t fall. aigoo. next time you smile and then maybe you don’t fall, okay? that is much better.”
maybe that’s why i’m hard on myself? growing up hearing how much better i could do or be? so k and i talked about how we’d praise micah a lot just for doing whatever he wants to do and having fun at it, but then i recalled some adults who grew up getting overly praised. yes, overly praised. parents being so proud of them when their grown asses handled a crowd well at Whole Foods or made a doctor’s appointment for THEYSELF. and unfortunately, these folks expected a lot of affirmation wherever they went since it was a freaking buffet in their home. so clearly, that is not the way either?
just typing out loud. wondering how to parent the best way without being overly critical like many first-generation Asian parents, who may mean well, wanting us to strive for more, or handling with kidgloves and raising an annoying kid who just expects praise everywhere he goes.