I have indigestion again. Chehessuh. Just as I started nursing a ginger ale, getting excited for my favorite time of day (Silent Night), I got banished from my favorite spot on our couch, from our family’s only TV.
Actually, I gave it up to the sons because one couldn’t find the iPad and was stomping around, looking for it everywhere around my body. I resented having to get off my butt (again) to help look for it, to no avail, so I told him to just take over the TV instead. I used to say we should never get a second TV to maximize family time. Clearly, pre-COVID-19.
Once I finally get to sit on the couch, it’s so much harder to get up. The laws of physics don’t lie: an object in motion stays in motion, an object at rest WANTS TO STAY AT REST.
As I went upstairs, I realized that I had not been alone once since I woke up this morning. My daily goal is to have some alone time during these 38 hour days but I forget. Once the kids are finally in bed, I don’t even want to get up to pee.
Yet strangely enough, when I do get to zone out, I have a yearning for something else.
Maybe read a book, maybe call up a friend? But that’s like showing up at someone’s door in 2020 (pre-pandemic) and I really only talk-talk regularly on the phone with one whole friend. Definitely should do yoga, pray more, meal prep (blech!), meditate, lift weights, and so much more, but after a marathon day, I don’t want a “should” awaiting me.
This past Sunday was Father’s Day. I ended up posting something onto Facebook, something I didn’t even know was on my heart, maybe to subconsciously rebel against the nearly identical highlight reels on “love” holidays like Father’s Day. How can we all be married to “the best dad ever?”
I didn’t even want to shout Kevin out because everyone else had already posted about their hero, but then I thought why not share the sweet moments just for their sweetness? What was the saying? Don’t bite off the nose to spite the face?
So before I shared about Kevin, I ended up writing this:
This post received comments, not the easier Likes. It even led to an unexpected private message which lead to a meaningful, personal conversation that I didn’t know I was craving. It made me realize that as burnt out as I am from working and pandemic parenting aka parenting on steroids aka The Kids Are Always Home and Always Taking My TV, I need a creative outlet to express myself, not just the nightly goal of zoning out. (And we also need to buy a second TV).