I’ve been struggling due to a personal matter. I felt like I couldn’t handle one. more. thing. and dreaded the extra maintenance a rainy day requires when wrangling the kiddos outdoors.
After picking up Micah from school, I was strolling Ellis from our parking lot, carrying the boys’ stuff on the crooks of both arms and not bothering with an umbrella for myself because How? I also couldn’t use my left hand to grip the stroller because I had accidentally knifed myself while rushing to cut a carrot for our breakfast smoothie the other morning.
Micah hasn’t done this in ages but suddenly he starts crying and screaming, while I am trying to get us all home on this drizzly, dark afternoon. He starts begging me TO CARRY HIM HOME. When he did this a while back, a stranger had to help me get home.
He was pulling on my jacket as we crossed the busy street, blocking Ellis’ stroller so that I was forced to run into him. My body heat started to rise and I prayed silently for help. I was getting pissed.
After crossing the street, I paused to go down to his level, hold him in an embrace, and tell him, “I know you want Mommy to carry you. Sometimes you want me to show you how much I love you by carrying you but I just can’t right now. I’m sorry. Will you be my big boy and walk home for me?” I lost my balance and plunked my butt right into a puddle.
“Carry up! Carry up! Piggyback!?” He was not relenting.
Our three blocks home was going to be hell. Like I said, I was fragile this week and couldn’t stomach a meltdown. His or mine.
I suddenly remembered some advice I had heard ages ago.
Act crazy to throw a mugger off his game.
Reasoning wasn’t working and more rain could hit as the afternoon sky looked more like it was 11 pm out.
I raised my hands to the heavens and started hopping in place while bellowing, “CARRY UP! CARRY MOMMY UP!? SOMEONE HELP MOMMY? CARRY MEEEEEEEE! CARRY MEEEEE!” I started dancing to my own beat while cars drove by and the kids gazed up at me.
Micah paused for a beat. His face broke out into his Denzel mega-watt smile. He started cracking up. So did little E. So much that Mr. Pillow Cheeks started gasping for air while cackling away in his stroller, watching Hyung laughing and Mama actin’ a fool.
“Again, Mommy! Do that again!”
I know Crazy won’t always save the day but it did today.