I don’t know how to talk about what is going on in our country right now so I will only talk about my own small world. For now, I only have to visit my o.b. monthly. While waiting to be seen by my very popular doctor this past week, I reminisced about how each pregnancy experience was different in many ways, but also same in the sheer awe and gratitude I always bask in.
For MLK, my first, I was working. Everything was new. No other children. I would ask friends on FB what the first flutter felt like and what exactly I was supposed to do while waiting for baby to arrive.
For EZ, my second, I was a full-time at-home mama. I was busy taking M to the playground and on playdates. I treasured these moments where M and I got to be attached at the hip, when he was my “OCUO,” Only Child Until October.
I realize now how fun that second pregnancy was as so many of the mama friends in my ‘hood were blessed enough to be expecting at the same time. It was almost hard to keep track of who was due when. “Who got next!?” From spring babies to blizzard babies. Newborns meeting first friends and mamas doing drive-bys on each other to drop off a little sustenance.
With this Bonus Belly Baby, I only work part-time so I definitely have pockets of quiet when the boys are at school. To feel the kicks and to try to imagine what it’s going to be like when we meet Baby and become a family of five.
I do miss those days when we were all knocked up together as I feel like the Lone Pregnant these days and wouldn’t mind a few Preg Buddies.
As I left my doctor’s office, I saw that there was a Goodwill store on the same block. I wondered, “Could there be a cute hat for me in there? Nah, I’m tired. I’m carrying too much stuff. I gotta hop back on the train and eat something before picking up the boys.” Then I got this strong feeling, “GO IN. GET YOUR HAT.” I came out with a hand-knit, bright turquoise hat for $2 after a nice chat with a young employee who is also pregnant. I smile to myself about how much older I am than her and I remind her to put her feet up and drink lots of water.
The last strong feeling I got was when we were at Storm King, the day before I turned 40 and the day before I found out officially that I was expecting our third baby.
When I got to luxuriate in that solitary shuttle ride as a Storm Queen, I gazed up at the sculptures and the trees and asked God, “Lord, it’s me again and yes I am obsessively asking. Could I actually be pregnant? **Even though I just got my period!?**” I felt a strong answer from within: “You are expecting. You will be back here with your baby. Why you ackin’ so surprised?” I think He even said the sex of the baby but I didn’t write down this memory fast enough so I don’t wanna make up stuff.
With small gifts (Goodwill hat) and grand gestures (Bonus Baby), He has gifted me so much lately so I can’t help but share these mundane praise reports on repeat. Beyonce-like photo shoot up next (Psyche!).