Giving Up Free Parking in Manhattan: A Birth Story

Olive is turning 11 months old tomorrow. Here is her birth story, before she becomes a toddler on Memorial Day:

Saturday of Memorial Weekend 2017 was soccer for the boys. Kevin went to Costco with them so I can rest after my scare the day before which landed me in the hospital to get checked out. My bladder had protruded out of me while I was on toilet and I initially thought, “OhmyGod, I am on one of those TV shows where I have the baby in the toilet, except I’m 40, not at prom.”

I joined them at soccer while Kevin put away the groceries. I relayed my dramatic story to a fellow soccer mom and dad. He joked that I should have my baby on Memorial Day Monday for rare, easy parking in NYC.

I rested a lot that day. Read a library book off and on that day (I wrote the name somewhere – some mystery book that was NOT riveting). The boys went to sleep easily and earlier than usual (maybe God was setting up the scene). By 8-something at night, they were both sound asleep so Kevin and I propped ourselves up in our bed, to organize some baby clothes as we had so many hand-me-downs and time was running out.

8:58 pm – As I shifted in bed, I felt warm liquid seeping and I could tell it wasn’t the usual discharge that sometimes felt noticeably warm and would give Kevin a scare.

And JUST LIKE WITH THE BOYS, I had bloody show, which is ALWAYS a helpful heads up that my body gives me – to say, “Hey, this is happening and will happen within 24 hours.”

I called the doctor’s office and Dr. Not My Doctor was the one on call, just like with Ellis. He said I can either come in right away since it sounded like my water had broken and contractions would be coming or I can labor at home and come in in the morning. We weren’t sure if he said come in in six hours or come in by 6 am, so we called him back to clarify.

We texted lots with our neighborhood friends, A, S and W re “It’s Game Time!”

S was very smart in that he could tell we were telling him to just come over by 10 pm so that we wouldn’t disturb him in the middle of the night so he offered us our space to labor at home, be nekked if more comfy, and pack final items. He assured us that once we needed him, he would be over within ten minutes. This was an answer to prayer as I worried about who would take the boys if this happened in the middle of the night before my mom arrived on 6/1.

S rushed over. The boys would be waking up to him instead of us. I wrote out letters to each son. I felt so emotional, knowing that these were the last moments of us being a family of four, my having just my two precious sons I doted on for the past 4.5 and 6.5 years. I was a Boy Mom and so whupped on these two very different creatures who made me a mom. And my Pillow Cheeks was no longer gonna be my Babyest after 4.5 years of milking it.

Light pink seepage soaking up dozen maxi pads. I used pantiliners until I realized that I needed more heavy duty support.

I practically barked at Kevin and was super-mean. “I know you supportive but I need you to LEAD so I can just be passive in times like these!” But he was discombobulated by my water breaking 16 days before the due date, after the bladder prolapse the day before.

Also, it may have been an animal thang, like when a dog gets ready to give birth to her litter and she feels crazed, scratching her claws across the wooden floor.

I didn’t start contractions under AFTER midnight (water broke at 8:58 pm). I had snuck into boys’ room to marvel at my sleeping babes whose lives were about to change. In a good way mostly, but there would also be a loss of Mommy’s attention and energy as a third apple of my eye would be scooting them over. Or “scootching” them over, as Ellis likes to say.

Looking back, this final moment to nestle with them and breathe them in on the last night of having only two children outside of my body was such a gift. It also allowed me to calm down, soak it all in, and not be so mean to Kevin.

Contractions picked up, about 6-7 minutes apart. After I kissed the boys in their sleep, I calmly woke up a sleeping Kevin to tell him we should go in and get my epidural more timely than last time. I had told Kevin to invest in rest though I wasn’t able to sleep. For some reason, Kevin was surprised again that this was really happening.

S arrived so swiftly, gave me a quick “heem-neh” hug and marched right into our apartment like a soldier on a mission, with his rolled up sleeping bag. Kevin gave him inhaler instructions for Micah and we took off before 2 am.

My contractions were coming regularly and it hurt like a mother (is that where the saying comes from?) but I don’t think it hurt as much the previous two births.

For MLK, it was, “WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLL!???” and for EZ, “HOLY SH*T I NOW REMEMBER ALL OF THIS AND THIS IS GONNA HURT LIKE A MOTHER!!!” For this one, I can only remember it hurting so much my eyes would shut on their own, but I still dared to tell Kevin between frequent contractions: “It’s middle of the night. Don’t do the $100 valet parking. Drop me off by that plant at the entrance and then park on the street.”

Kevin advised: If you wait for me to park, it could be a matter of getting an epidural on time or the anesthesiologist getting all booked up like last time when it was too late.

Me: You right. Good call. Just pay the $1000 for parking valet.

I checked in at 2:22 am on what seemed to be an uneventful night at the maternity ward. Later I found out that it truly was uneventful due to it being Memorial Weekend. I asked how can babies time their own births around major holidays and someone explained that as far as scheduled deliveries, they were scarce around major holidays.

2:27 am – Dr. PG gave me an internal exam. 3 or 4 cm dilated and 70 effaced. Head still down. This doctor is gorgeous. Just like the nurses at Ellis’ delivery – they looked like they were gonna pillow fight on The Bachelor.

Dr. S, a handsome young Indian anesthesiologist gave me my epidural at 3:05 am when I was ONLY 3.5 cm dilated. Another gorgeous Indian doctor.

Dr. Not My Doctor checked in at 3:34 am, 4:58 am (said I was 7 to 8 cm dilated and should be another hour), 6:15 am and said it was time.

Wait, is my baby crawling out the cavern on her own before I even pushed? I told the doctor and he said, “Let me check. Oh yeah, she’s right there.” The Korean-American nurse commented, “When I have kids, I want a birth like that.”

Baby girl arrived so quickly at 6:32 am that we didn’t even get to get our cry on. She just appeared. Two contractions and total of five pushes within a few minutes. She seemed to birth herself, as I felt her crawling out of me even with my epidural; no pain, just pressure.

Olive Hope Kim, 16 days early for most memorable Memorial Weekend ever and best reason for bailing on friend’s BBQ:

5 pounds, 8 oz, 2500 grams, 19 inches tall

Now, 11 months old, with a staring problem like I’ve never seen before. Only Li’l Kim to army crawl, still zero teeth, and waking up once or twice through the night since seven months old. Slept so much better when brand new. Wishing you a wonderful last month of being an infant.