Know Thyself

Fourth heat wave of the summer in NYC. Got lots of delicious rest this weekend thanks to the always helpful hubby and almost no commitments (no birthday parties). As I enter my third trimester, I’m feeling more lethargic perhaps due to my growing girth alone. This morning, I woke up wanting to take Micah out to a playground before his nap even though I knew we were in for a “scorchaaa.” I didn’t have time to eat a real breakfast because I wanted to head out as soon as M was done eating and honestly, I can’t eat when he’s awake because he will climb onto my lap or ask me to stop so we can play. The more we dillydallied, the harder it would be to actually get out into the world.

I strapped him into the stroller with some Goldfish and a couple books while I rush rush rushed – quick ponytail and sunscreen application, brush teef, grab his drink, bibs, wipes, extra diaper, my small yogurt drink (which I can’t drink in front of him because he will bogart) and emergency granola bar (which I can’t eat in front of him because he will attack it and sit there with his big innocent eyes ackin’ like he didn’t do nothin’ even with a very guilty chocolatey goatee). The longer he was strapped into stroller, the higher the chances were for the whining to start, especially as he kept dropping his books and wondering why I was taking so long. And it was already getting hotter so I had to make my exit before having to turn on the a/c again, only to turn it off a few minutes later (that whole cycle of not getting out the house – augh!).

I grabbed a green dress I used to wear all the time while dating Kevin. Used to wear it so regularly in the summers that he would call it my uniform. Very flowy and roomy so I tried to slip it on today during my morning rush. Not so flowy or roomy. It almost tore at my broadening rib cage but I kept it on because I knew I would end up a sweaty mess trying to take it off. One of those dresses that will tear some time during the day with any sudden movement. Not “may” tear but WILL tear, just a matter of when. But we had to go.

On our way to the park, it got hotter. Very little shade as we walked for blocks. I drank my small yogurt-on-the-go smoothie in one gulp and even ate my granola bar while I strolled. Got to the park and did our usual: some swing time, going up and down the apparatus with him, including this Indiana Jones type bridge that I’m finding harder to balance on. It’s getting hotter even with some spots of shade. Rivulets of sweat now rolling down my face, neck, and bressesses. I don’t feel too well. I am drinking my water consistently but not feeling stable at all. I grab him from a tunnel he’s enjoying and I strap him back into his stroller after only about 30 minutes. Relieved that he does not protest leaving the park. He says “bye” to the swing, slides, sprinklers, Chinese grandmas. He seems ready to nap too.

On the way back, I feel worse. A familiar feeling. I’ve passed out maybe around ten times in my life, due to period cramps, high altitude, low altitude, dehydration, and more. But I was never with my baby before so I start forcing myself to talk while strolling so that I don’t dare pass out. My knees feel wobbly. I start panting and forcing exaggerated breaths in and out like I’m in labor and M laughs, imitating me while babbling his fave words of the weekend, “Dadddyyyy, Dada, Dadddyyy, Ahppaaah, Dadadada?” Alright already, we know who you love! Talk about kicking a gal while she’s down. I just want to make it home.

Halleluyer, I am SO grateful to get home. I grab a banana for a quick “shot” of potassium and M just as immediately grabs it from me to play telephone before taking a tentative bite himself. I grab it back and take a few quick bites.

Lessons learned (I hope):
1) Be real. For other gals, a small yogurt drink and Kashi bar may suffice as breakfast but for you, that amounts to nothing. You need to at least have a banana, juice and big bowl of cereal because you know you will digest that sh*t in one block of strolling. Yes, what would really nourish is a bowl of meeyukgook and bahb with a fried egg and bahnchan to start the day off SOLID but no time to eat such a feast when M is standing there with his pleading, “UP!? up? Up?”

2) Know thyself: You are prone to passing out! So don’t think, “Oh, being pregnant does not mean I’m disabled. I can do my daily playground run even when NY1 keeps on talking about the Fourth Heat Wave of the Summer.” Stay in and even let him watch some tv! Maybe playground runs aren’t meant to be so daily any more.

Imagine if I had passed out! What would happen to M? I suppose the other mamas/nannies/grandparents would watch him while I came to? Or ’til the paramedics came? They would’ve said, “Wow, she must’ve fainted from high atop the apparatus because her dress is torn in half!”

Stay cool y’all!

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