Never say never.

I never thought I’d be interested in shows like “Wife Swap,” “Celebrity Wife Swap,” or “Supernanny” and I wasn’t until fairly recently. Now I look forward to “Celebrity Wife Swap” and save space for it on our DVR when I remember to record it. And I wish “Supernanny” was still on the air.

In fact, I was affected by an episode of “Celebrity Wife Swap” the other night.

Here is how ABC synthesizes this episode that I was impacted (poisoned) by:

Robin Leach is best known as the host of the long-running television series “Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous.” Today, Robin keeps a lavish lifestyle in Las Vegas, NV complete with expensive cars, elegant dinners, fine wines and champagne, and his “Lifelong Heartstring,” Joan Severance. Robin and Joan enjoy spending almost every evening out on “The Strip.” Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, CA, Eric Roberts and his wife Eliza live a quiet life, complete with a squirrel sanctuary in the backyard. Eliza, an actress in her own right, is not only Eric’s partner in life, but partner in work as Eric’s manager and radio show co-host. Eliza is constantly working and even built a bicycle workstation where she multi-tasks the majority of the day.

But it’s not all “champagne wishes and caviar dreams” when Eliza arrives at Robin’s house and shares that she does not drink alcohol nor enjoy Robin’s love of fancy dinners and late nights on the town.

In Los Angeles, Joan feels out of her element in her new environment, which includes lots of pets – and the job of feeding the squirrels – a task that Joan does not immediately take to. Joan also soon learns how busy Eliza’s days are. From chauffeuring Eric to his numerous auditions and answering calls and sending emails to running a household, Joan yearns for her pampered life back in Las Vegas.

When it’s time for rules change, these women have a few surprises for their new families with Joan bringing more work/life balance into the Roberts’ home and Eliza giving Robin a lesson in the art of simplicity.

After we turned off the TV, I said to Kevin, “That’s IT! I want Robin Leach’s life. NOW. Champagne wishes and caviar dreams, not leftover almond butter and jam sandwiches that the boys refused to eat during our playground run. And I’m not talking about just having a little more disposable income no mo’…I want to MAKE IT RAIN!”

Another Warren G(hee) moment, with a Robin Leach additive.

I want to be able to spend as much time with my kids but still be disgustingly rich. Even though I know how blessed and rich I am to be able to stay at home, albeit on a budget sandwiched between two sets of law school loans, I plead greed after watching Robin Leach stuff his face with his nightly caviar.

I bet he doesn’t have to choose between buying a nicer eye cream or going out for Mexican food as a family. Again, I know that I am still DAMN rich compared to most of the world, with many having to choose between feeding themselves or their kids, but please indulge my First World greed for this post and maybe a handful more in the future.

He and his lady friend could fancy any of their extravagant whims at any time.

Then boom, I found myself sitting in church the next morning, listening to our Pastor Rich, launching a new series from Colossians, specifically on being “Raised With Christ” and the directive from Colossians 3:2 to “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”

Rich reminded us that being raised with Christ means that God’s FUTURE life is available to us in the present to ENJOY and DISPLAY, like an advanced movie screening of joy and peace.

He also provided us with a quote from Soren Kierkegaard: “Purity of heart is to will one thing.”

While my champagne wishes and caviar dreams may remain as mere wishes and dreams (or lust and greed), I must set my mind on things above. And I will be better for it. I can have joy and peace by willing one thing – GOD.

With my fleeting lust to be filthy rich a la Robin Leach or Jihee Lee(ch), it was easy to come correct and reset my mind on things above.

However, when I heard news about a lovely and dear friend’s little boy getting sick, it was much harder to ONLY will one thing. No, not just God but healing healing healing NOW NOW NOW. And while You’re at it, Lord, health of all loved ones at all times, please!

I was comforted by yet another quote Rich shared with us. Even the esteemed Henri Nouwen struggled with double-mindedness. Wanting GOD and…:

“Indeed, how divided my heart has been and still is! I want to love God, but also to make a career. I want to be a good Christian, but also to have my successes as a teacher, preacher, or speaker. I want to be a saint, but also enjoy the sensations of the sinner. I want to be close to Christ but also popular and liked by people. No wonder that living becomes a tiring enterprise. The characteristic of a saint is, to borrow Kierkegaard’s words, ‘To will one thing.’ Well, I will more than one thing, am double hearted, double minded, and have a very divided loyalty.”

Teach me Lord to will only one thing. YOU.

But I have to be honest with You, especially since You know all my thoughts and desires anyhow. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE heal our friend.

Please.

Thank You for giving us a blueprint for life through your commandments that will only set us up for Hope especially when nothing makes sense. Not necessarily champagne and caviar but something immensely richer.