Just saw that it’s been exactly four months since my last post on 4.27.18.
Keeping with the 27s, one month since my family and I moved from NYC to LA on 7.27.18.
I left in 2005 for my then long-distance boyfriend, now husband and babies’ daddy. I remember sitting around sharing desserts after a birthday dinner in Los Feliz, and my girlfriends expressing concern that I was moving out to NYC without a ring on my finger.
I was touched by their love for me but I explained that getting long distance engaged wouldn’t actually be any kind of guarantee. What if I moved out there and he turned out to be a jerk?
I do remember saying, “I can always move back if things are awful.”
Sometimes, things were awful. Not because of who Kevin was but because NYC is a tough place to live with small kids, harsh winters and no family. Plus marriage is always tough even without the East Coast West Coast Biggie and Tupac tension.
Then I started to resign myself to thinking that maybe we’d have to keep staying because jobs weren’t as easy to come by as strangers and acquaintances seemed to suggest.
About the third child in, I just accepted that while sun, nature, childhood friends, family, oceans of parking spaces and quiet were life-giving to me, it just wasn’t part of God’s plan to open that door for me. I’d just have to brave the subway and recalibrate my expectations to the suburbs of NYC, a common transition for many Queens families.
As we got ready to put an offer on a house on Long Island, all the while feeling like, “Something doesn’t feel right. Shouldn’t we be more excited about buying a house?,” Kevin’s job offer started taking shape. As you know, I am a very gut feeling / signs / intuition gal and when one realtor said, “Welcome to Long Island,” all my cells clenched to say, “Nope nope nope nope.”
Right before Kevin went to fly in for his interview, we visited a huge playground on LI. Suped up. Inviting. (But still SO cold in the spring). If anything, all that play space should have lured us into seeing what LI has to offer. I asked him, “So? Whaddya think? You think we’re gonna live here? Or can we dare say we might end up in L.A. after all these years?”
Kevin hates to jinx anything and has all these rituals during sports playoffs. He didn’t want to spit it out but he was willing to say, “I don’t think we’re gonna end up here. I know we might make an offer on that house and I can totally picture us living there but I just feel like we won’t be here.”
There was a 37 day period of limbo even *after* Kevin received and accepted the job offer. We didn’t know if we should be online looking for housing in L.A., Queens or Long Island. We gave quasi-notices at our jobs. We prayed a lot.
And here we are. Exploring our new neighborhood. Reconnecting with old friends. Trying to remember to take in our own bags at the market. Getting used to “May I help you find anything?” Referring to NYC as “back home.” Feeling myself calmer as I don’t soak in all the beep-beeps and honk-honks.
And I keep coming back to how this verse shouted out at me this year:
Isaiah 43:19 (ESV)
19 Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
I perceive it. I receive it. And I am rejoicing in it wildly. Thank You, Lord.