A three-day weekend is a beautiful thang. Hubby was THIS close to having to work through some of it but found out on Saturday that he did not have to. Halleluyer! Weekend was glorious, full of quality time as a family of three with some sizzling weather as a backdrop.

Some highlights: Micah was able to get on the swings with Daddy for the first time. Walked miles in our beautiful park through lush trees and shade. Daddy was Billy Madison, lining up at the ice cream truck, very seriously weighing the decision – Cherry Dipped Vanilla Cone v. Firebomb. Nice to walk alongside them, with Daddy behind the stroller. After committing to staying at home indefinitely with my lil shumai, I keep wondering about part-time, flexible opportunities for the future. Ice cream truck? It’s seasonal and my boy could roll with me? Bump some R&B and drive through the parks?

Some seafood with childhood friend and his wifey and baby boy just six weeks older than our boy. So nice to see parent friends in love with their own babies.

Church. Sermon on Anxiety. Got to see a few friendly faces afterwards.

Woodbury – overrun more than ever this weekend by Orthodox Jews and Asians. So curious how everyone makes their money, how they’re able to buy, buy, buy. So crowded and too hot but nice to get out for a drive away from the city. Must write letter of complaint soon though so that they can upgrade their bathrooms. On this especially hot day, we went speedwalking to the bathroom marked as “nursing station” on the map so that Micah would not get dehydrated. Shoving one battered wicker chair into a toilet stall within the general population of the masses of other toilets does not make for a nursing station. Impossible to nurse with diarrhea fumes swirling all around, punching both baby and mama in the nose. Unacceptable. There needs to be a separation. At least a few comfortable chairs in a different room? Yes, there was one Family Restroom which I was so excited to use because it was another First for our family but it was not airconditioned and a line of other families started to form, people knocking and making me nervous to do my thang. I don’t do well when people are waiting on me, so I flung open the door and told the other mama to come on in and change her baby while I nursed (or tried to since Micah likes to bite now – even with no teeth). Laughable really, that you sell Gucci and Prada on your premises but shove a nasty chair into a TOILET STALL and call that a nursing station. I guess this would be one lowlight from the weekend’s highlights.

Dim Sum with my new mama friends and their baby daddies. Nice to bond and have our babies see other babies regularly. Would be too isolating to do this on our own.

Walks around the neighborhood.

Putting away winter clothes. (Not that I enjoyed doing any kind of packing or organizing but symbolically).

Some other highlights but brain shutting down. Goodnight.

hi, micah,
you are fast asleep in your crib, with your face mashed up against the mesh bumpers that were so necessary for you. i try to put off buying yet ANOTHER baby product because i think it’s all a scheme to get us eager-beaver first-time mamas to buy everything but sometimes, things are truly necessary or at least very helpful.

i’ve been meaning to write more about how you change daily but i have to confess that i haven’t been keeping up. i get more tired these days as you grow. you’ve always been a good sleeper so that’s not why. i just feel wearier. maybe because i no longer even try to workout at night, at least for the last month or so, ever since you started to reject the bottle of expressed milk your papi tried to give you as your final meal before bedtime. that was usually when i would try to go to the gym but now you demand mama 100% of the time.

i’m rambling now. i just want to capture some moments on this here blog because some moments will forever be gone. your papi tries to remind me that as sad as i am to see that your chubby baby feet are starting to look more childlike than tofu newbornlike, we will have future moments to cherish, like when you start talking and saying the durndest things or when your papi throws you a ball or when you are in school plays (only if you want to!) and look out for us in the audience. but as your mama, i can’t believe that some of your baby moments are FOREVER gone. for instance, you used to purse your lips into a small, tight little “o” when you were brand new but now you are SO over that – “C’mon mom, that is SO 2010!” when i first brought you home from the hospital, you were a pink, nekked molerat, earnestly trying to suckle at my breast. your eyes were shut tight, just trying your hardest to get some meat on your 6 lb. frame, getting adjusted to this crazy new world outside of mama, not yet resembling a chubby, bouncing baby. now, you are my big hamhock, my sea bass, wide and gurgly, complete with baby pecs and succulent thighs, fat wrists, staring right at me as you nurse. you love to play with your feet in the happy baby yoga pose. your favorite thing is ceilings. you’re shy around other babies and you sometimes sigh like you have a lot on your mind. when we’re with a lotta babies, you sometimes want me to lay you down apart from the chaos so that you can crack up all by yourself. you like to smile in the presence of men who talk very seriously without paying you any mind.

sometimes, i get obsessed with chronicling your every move, your every change. i realized i was doing this when i overly stressed about which fancy camera we should upgrade to. your perceptive papi noticed that i was getting really riled up and finally tears spilled out as i spit out, “Look, maybe it’s not even about the camera. i’m just freaking out that we’re losing precious moments. i want to capture EVERYTHING because he’s growing SO fast and i feel like i’m the designated family historian! i mean damn, LOOK AT HIS FEET! they’re soon not going to be baby feet and he’s gonna lose his fat thighs and he’s not gonna want to be held by me forever! then he’s gonna ask me to drop him off at the mall without getting out of the car in front of his friends!”

when it was a rainy day last week, we stayed indoors for shelter, foregoing all activities and playgroups. i turned on some music and slowdanced with you, cheek-to-cheek, with your tiny, sweaty fist gripping my finger. when i spun you around, you smiled even bigger and you babbled with glee. you are now hefty in my arms and you will only get bigger until you (hopefully) tower over me. of COURSE i want you to grow up, strong and healthy. it would be a travesty if you stayed your size forever yet i want to freeze you at your current stage while you are still my baby who beams at me with your gummy smile, peering into my eyes without looking away even for a moment, then spilling all your milk out because i make you smile WIDE just by calling out your name. around your fifth month, you became smilier than ever and it’s been so delicious that it actually makes my heart ache.

when you are about to fall into a deep sleep, you usually have to shake your head from side to side – fast and furious. this helps you settle into sleep. you like to kick a lot and tap your feet. you’re big enough now that when you sock me or papi, it kinda hurts. you discovered your ears a while back and you can’t believe these things exist right on your very own head so you twist and grab them, giving them a hard time (also a sign of teething). you like to sing along, with the Easter song and “God is so Good” being your favorites. Your nemeses: the wind, toilet flushing loudly in public restrooms, the hand dryer in public restrooms, the food processor, the bright sun directly on your face, my sneezes, my sudden loud laugh. and cold lotion, too, lately. you actually gasp and shudder.

you are SO over the swing but you love the jumperoo. you had your first “solid” – we gave you rice cereal on mother’s day and you seem to like it. you don’t have any teeth yet but you love to roll over, esp. from your back onto your tummy. whoa, it’s past midnight so i should go to bed now. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH and I THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING ME A MAMA!

(we have since gotten you a nice high chair and plastic bowls – this was just our first time)

I think it was about ten years ago when I attended a Pacific Crossroads Church community group in Santa Monica, CA. Many of the folks at that church were in the entertainment industry. The icebreaker was, “How was your week? What achievement are you most proud of from the past week?” I’m sure it was tied to what we were studying or discussing that night. I racked my brain and came up with, “Well, one thing about me is that I have to stand up for people when they can’t stand up for themselves so like I feel good about speaking up against a gym employee who was treating a Latina lady poorly because she couldn’t speak English. She was really talking down to her and treating her like a little kid, raising her voice when she couldn’t understand so I had to say something.” Then the next guy who shared was really fired up, saying that I jogged a similar memory of his, of when he defended someone while in line at Starbucks.

Shortly after we shared our highlights of the week, the next dude said, deadpan, “I’d have to say it was pretty cool when I won an Oscar last week.” Well. He was so truly humble about it, saying it was just for a technical category but I always laugh when I think of this memory, especially today, while still reeling from the news of Osama bin Laden’s death. How was your week? What was the most memorable? I’d probably choose from many Micah anecdotes, how we walked a 5K together as a family with a stroller at the Bronx Zoo’s Run for the Wild, or how he took some solid naps on any given day. And then some cooler-than-cool dude would follow that with, “I’d have to say I had a monumental week. I shot Osama bin Laden. Dead.”

Last night, my husband and I watched footage of people gathering around Ground Zero and the White House to celebrate bin Laden’s death with bright eyes, huge grins and unabashed cheer. Unlike me, Husband was in NYC on 9/11, actually fleeing his office two blocks away from the Twin Towers, running the fastest he’s ever run in his life. Yet Husband still said, “This feels a little weird. Cheering the death of another human being.” I know what he meant but I hardly heard him as I was too busy cheering beside him. I KNOW this does not bring back the lives of the victims or the men and women who served our country but knowing that this evil man is no longer with us, I kept shouting, “BOOYAH! You punk ass BITCH! Finally!” As a Christian, I do believe we are ALL sinners and that vengeance is the Lord’s. But whether right or wrong, I feel what I feel. I am still thrilled that the ruthless, unremorseful mass murderer of thousands is no longer roaming God’s green Earth and hope that other terrorists can get theirs too, and soon.

Someone shared this MLK, Jr. quote on Facebook today: “I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” I confess that I ain’t no MLK, Jr.